he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
