so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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