i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
