bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
