you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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