yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
We got so high we made milksteak
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
