She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
