Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
