You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
