did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
