You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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