Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
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i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
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I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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