so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
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If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
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All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.