Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
operation have a gay friend backfired
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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