Are we in a gay sports bar?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
