i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
