Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
