i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize