Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
