Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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