I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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