Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
