ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
