do herpes really smell.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
