The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
