I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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