Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
