Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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