Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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