Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
