Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
