So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
