We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize