none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
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I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
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In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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