you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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