also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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