so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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