Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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