Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
