We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
