i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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