When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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