the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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