turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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