The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
