You're my little dorito
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
