OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just gargled with NyQuil
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
