the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Shame - the story of my life.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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