Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Best friends brother. Beat that.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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