you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
