if i can run in heels then i can drive
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
