I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
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