I'm eating all of the evidence.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
