He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
cat food counts as protein by the way
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
