is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
don't judge my taste in strippers
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
