We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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