Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
