worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
